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I'll follow Jesus, the way and the truth and the life

 “Jesus answered, “I am the way and the truth and the life. No one comes to the Father except through me.” (John 14:6)

1.   Where is the way?

I was born in December 23rd, 1949 one year before the Korean civil war as the youngest among 6 children of the richest family in the mapo district of Seoul city. While escaping from the civil war, I had near-death experiences time after time. So my body became very weak. But I grew up receiving much love from others who complimented me saying, “you are so smart and lovely.” In the elementary school, I became the top student in the class and the class leader. I was recognized by teachers and students. I got confidence and leadership skills and thought that I could do whatever I wanted to do. At the same time, I became very conceited. My father suddenly passed away when I was in the 5th grade of elementary school. This made me think about life and death. I made efforts to find the way for my life by reading many books with romantic dream in the beautiful garden together with good teachers and friends after entering Ewha Girls’ Christian school which was the top girls’ school at that time. But because I couldn’t find the true meaning and purpose of life, I wandered and failed in the entrance exam and entered Seoul women’s university. I met many evangelists there but I had no faith. When my mom was found with cancer in my sophomore year, I fell into despair. For the first time, I came to God and prayed personally. I argued with God saying how meaningless and unrighteous life was if such a good and great woman as my mom disappeared so suddenly in this world. And I prayed for God to show mercy on my mom if he is truly living. It seemed that God heard my prayer because my mom had faith in God and went to the Kingdom of God in peace with the guidance of God. But I couldn’t have faith in God and rather suffered from an unknown disease because of meaninglessness. I went to many hospitals but doctors didn’t know what was wrong with me. I was exhausted and lost confidence. I planned to prepare my future by studying abroad in America. But when I became weak in my body, I came to think about myself and how weak human life was for the first time. My proud heart became humble because of this. There were many temptations to live a brilliant life. But I fell into deep meaninglessness and wandered looking for a hospital for healing me completely.

2. Jesus became my way

When I wandered looking for the true way for life, I studied the Bible by myself. God led me to UBF through one of my friends in 1972. When I came to UBF first, there was a Bible school for the book of Romans. I was greatly moved and shocked when the graduates shared messages based on the Bible studies with Dr. Samuel Lee. Even though I read many books, I was ignorant of the Bible. But through the message with the title “For His name’s sake”, I realized that the Bible was also for me. Romans 1:21 says, “For although they knew God, they neither glorified him as God nor gave thanks to him, but their thinking became futile and their foolish hearts were darkened.” I thought it was my personality problem or human relationship problem that made my thinking futile and made my heart dark. But I found and confessed that I was a sinner not living for the glory of God. Through Romans 3:23,24, I accepted Jesus as my Christ and Savior. Romans 5:1 encouraged me and was sure of having peace with God through faith. Joy began to overflow within me. And darkness and despair was cast away and I could laugh full of joy. Through John 14:6 I accepted Jesus is the way and the truth and the life leading me to eternal God. Jesus became my life-purpose, the meaning of life and the way of life leading me to God.

From that time on, I began to deliver the word of God to my classmates. God poured into my heart his unlimited love for people. God sent me missionary Maria Lee of India UBF as my first sheep and continued to send many sheep and raised them up as Jesus’ disciples. The late Dr. Samuel Lee appointed me as a leader of Wednesday Fellowship. I became the first female fellowship leader. God blessed my shepherd life by giving me 1Corinthians 4:2. I had an honor and grace to study the Bible with Mother Sarah Barry along with many other great shepherds and sharing testimonies and message training with them. Imitating Dr. Samuel Lee, I decided to write 6-page Daily Bread testimonies. God blessed me to establish a house church with Shepherd Samuel Choi in 1976. 

3. You will be a blessing.

On May, 1978 our family joined the pioneering work of Yonsei and Ewha Universities, which was started by Shep. David Kim in 1977. We moved to a small one-room house right next to the Bible center. Even though our house was very small, God made this one a Bible house and a resting place for many sheep. Shepherd Samuel Choi served God’s work absolutely with a good coworking with Shp. David Kim. He received job training. And we had money problems in many ways. But God helped us to learn Jesus who gave up heavenly glory and came to this world and served many in his poverty. God used poverty in my life to mold me into a shepherd with much compassion on people. And he taught me how to live by faith.

In 1982 Yonhee UBF established a new Bible center by faith. I repented of my laziness and selfishness based on John 10:11 “I am the good shepherd. The good shepherd lays down his life for the sheep.” When I went fishing on campus actively, God granted me and shepherd Samuel Choi faithful sheep and we started chapter 2 student ministry. God sent student sheep to all of our Samuel fellowship coworkers and they were changed and used to feed many student sheep. They continued to grow and pioneered many fellowships in chapter 2 and chapter 5. Many coworkers went to India, France, Belgium, Germany, Hong Kong, America, and South America as missionaries. God used the late shepherd Jang Duk-young, who was served with all my heart to bring his family members to God. His sister Jang Yoon-kyung, his mother, Lydia and his eldest sister, Angela Kim came to the Bible study one by one and all of them became missionaries in Hong Kong UBF by God’s grace. I saw God’s work of hope through one person.

God blessed our house church with three children, Samuel Jr, Hannah and Esther. In the early pioneering time we served God’s work from morning till late at night. So we couldn’t take much care of our children. But I held onto Ephesians 6:4 to take care of them. “Fathers, do not exasperate your children; Instead, bring them up in the training and instruction of the Lord.” I accepted them as precious gifts given by God. Every night I hugged them tight and prayed much for them so that they might not have any wounds in their hearts or feelings of being mistreated. Shp. Samuel Choi was a man of God, who was gentle and generous. We loved and honored each other and our children in Christ and prayed continuously with them for the mission. We prayed for them to have God’s vision through studying the Bible. In my practical life, I myself struggled to obey God’s truth for serving them with God’s word. I tried my best to be joyful always; pray continually and give thanks in all circumstances.

God guided our family with his blessings. He raised and sent 3 children to 3 continents as missionaries: The youngest daughter, Esther to Heidelberg, Germany in June 2004, and the second child, Hannah, to Kiev, at the end of August, 2004, and the oldest son, Samuel Jr. to Chicago, USA in May 2006, whom Mother Barry invited to Chicago. Missionary Hannah decided to be a kernel of wheat for God’s mission in Ukraine and established a missionary house church with shep. Samuel Demitry in 2007, which God has been using preciously and blessed by giving the baby, Samiilo and solomiia.

I thank God for establishing missionary House church between missionary Samuel Choi Jr. and shepherdess Lori by the grace of God. May this house church be preciously used as a shepherd and priestly nation for American campus students.

Through last Purdue international conference, God helped me to deeply accept the love of God for the perishing world under the power of sin and death. God helped me to pray with a vision to be a missionary in God’s time.

God has raised disciples and missionaries through one to one Bible studies and divine training in Samuel Fellowship. Thank God for his grace to use shepherd Samuel and me in this precious work of God.

God gave me Mark 10:45 as my key verse this year. When I look back on my life, I realize that my family and my life and God’s ministry are greatly blessed because Jesus who is the way, the truth and the life, walks with me and serves me so well. Above all, I thank God for His amazing grace to help me to learn that there is true life and truth to grow in learning from Jesus when I give my life to serve others until they find true life. I am a debtor of the grace of Jesus. Nowadays so many people come to learn the word of God with me that I cannot serve them all. I have difficulty in sitting on the chair for long time because of my back problem. But I pray that I may keep a debtor’s heart and follow the way of Jesus’ shepherd life who gave his life to give life to many. May I not try to be served but serve anyone in truth wherever I go.

May my children remain in the grace of Jesus who serve them and gave them new life and mission. May they live as shepherds to serve campus students with God’s truth in America, Ukraine and Germany with a debtor’s heart. I pray that I may continue to be used in raising campus disciples and well-trained missionaries through the abundant word of truth at Yonhee center and sending them to the world.

One word: "But to serve"