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Zimbabwe UBF (Africa)

September 21, 2012

“ Love the Lord your God with all your heart, with all your mind and with all your strength. ” - Luke 10:27-

I was born in Seoul in 1963 as the eldest among 2 boys and 3 girls. My parents were from northern Korea and moved down south during the Korean War. Having no relatives in the south, they suffered a lot to settle in the south. When I was little, my mom taught me to be honest and to be independent relying on no one. My father was a responsible man and he loved me and taught me to live an honest life. I have much respect toward my parents.

When I was 10 years old, however, my mom passed away just two weeks after she gave birth to her 4^th child. It was an unexpected tragedy to my family. My younger brother was 5, younger sister was 2 and a two-week old new born baby lost her mother. I was too young to understand what death was.  Her death brought so much sorrow and wounds to me and my family. I became a quiet child who didn’t talk much. I rather stayed alone than playing with friends. Soon my father remarried in order to fill the empty place of my mom.

My new mom was a Christian and we began to go to church.  At Sunday school, I heard the message of the cross and received Jesus. Although I was little, I believed vaguely that if I believed in Jesus I would enter the kingdom of God when I died. Since then I attended the church faithfully for fear of not being able to enter heaven.

My step mother was often sick with a heart problem. Then on the first day of my senior year of high school, she passed away. I despaired over my life which was full of sorrow and misery. I had to study for the entrance exam for college, but as the eldest daughter, I had to do housework and take care of my younger siblings. I got up at 4 in the morning, went to early morning prayer at the church at 5 and afterward went to school early and studied there. One day while walking to school half-asleep, I bumped into a tree. It was so painful that I fell on the ground and cried. In the evening when I came home from school, I cooked dinner, then went to the library near my house to study until midnight and came home to sleep. Life was tiring, but because I had a goal to enter college, I could persevere. Out of desperation, I prayed to God, promising him that if I entered a college, I would live for him.

In 1982, I entered the Hongik University, the department of English Education. At that time my father married his third wife, so I didn’t have to do housework. I thought college life would bring me satisfaction and joy. I wanted to join in many activities and discover the meaning of life. So I participated in helping the disabled children, homeland pilgrim march, and ROTC. During vacations, I enjoyed traveling with friends to the mountains and the sea. On Sundays I actively participated in Sunday school and youth programs. It looked like I had a wonderful life. But inwardly I was insecure and was full of worries about my future. To forget about it, I kept myself busy, but my interior was meaningless and empty. I had seen the deaths of two mothers and I could not overcome the deep futility that death gave me. Especially, my struggle with my second step mother made me miserable. I was always unhappy with her and I thought that it was all because of her. I was ashamed of my family situation that I had a step mother. So I never told anyone about my family situation, and almost never invited any of my friends to my home ever since I was 10. Sometimes I despaired over myself that I felt the urge to die.

Around this time through a friend God invited me to Bible study at Chongro UBF. The word of God in Genesis opened my spiritual eyes widely. Through faith I came to know the invisible but living God personally. I came to know by faith that the universe was created by the word of God. God created me in his image and was very pleased with me. I experienced and was deeply moved by the amazing love of God toward me.

Through Bible study, I realized that I was such an ugly sinner before God. Outwardly, I was alright, but inwardly, I was filled with hatred, selfishness, complaints, despair, negative thoughts, fatalism and dirty thoughts. The reason that my life had no direction and I was so miserable was not because of my step mother, but because of my sins that made me sick and live in darkness. I was a miserable sinner who deserved God’s judgment. But God helped me to lift my eyes and look at Jesus on the cross by faith.

Jesus loved this useless sinner so much and was crucified in my place. He was pierced and wounded because of my weakness and sins. Because of his wounds, I was healed. He was punished for me so that I might have peace and be healed. Like a sheep, I went astray, but God lay on Jesus all of my sins. I was amazed by the love of Jesus and shed many tears. My reality didn’t change at all, but the true light of Jesus entered my heart and I was changed. Although I couldn’t see Jesus with my eyes, by faith I received salvation that I longed for and enjoyed his saving grace.    

I was born again through Jesus Christ and God gave me a new life direction through Genesis 12:1-2. Through this word, I accepted God’s calling as a campus shepherd and missionary.

In 1986 in my senior year in college, M. Paul Choi who is now in St. Louis and I co-worked to pioneer Hongik University. At that time I couldn’t see anything with my eyes. But we challenged fishing 40 students and registered UBF as a student club on campus. Then we were given a room for the club and M. Paul and I could each serve more than 10 1:1 Bible studies a week with joy. It was the work of God who exists and rewards those who earnestly seek him. In 1987 Dongkyu UBF Center was built in front of Hongik University and discipleship ministry began actively in Hongik University. God blessed me abundantly to taste the joy of feeding sheep and bearing the fruit of spiritual life.

In Nov. 1990, M. James Lee and I established a family of God and were sent to Namibia as missionaries. We went without knowing much about each other or Africa. We went by faith in obedience to God’s word, “Leave your country,” with one purpose to learn Jesus wherever we went. My parents-in-law couldn’t understand or accept why M. James, their oldest son, was going out to Africa as a missionary. But M. James went to Namibia, his mission field, with just 100 dollars in his wallet. During the day we worked at the Korean Embassy as tentmaker missionaries and in the evening and during the weekend, we visited the campus and began to feed sheep.

We had a language problem, didn’t know the new land, and didn’t have much in possession; we only had simple and obedient faith. We visited the campus to invite the students to our Sunday worship service. We also cooked meals for them. But after 3 years, there was no visible disciple as fruit. After receiving human help and living a double life, the sheep went away. Also, a few tragedies kept happening to my in-laws. M. James’ sister committed suicide, and his grandmother who raised him passed away, and his younger brother developed cancer.  His family was bitter toward us who couldn’t be a help and lived faraway. We too were worn out spiritually and physically living in the hard world and not seeing any visible fruit in ministry.

At that time the Lord visited us with his word: “Love the Lord your God with all your heart, with all your mind and with all your strength.” However difficult the present situation looked, one clear truth was that God is living and he loved us with an absolute love. We made a decision to believe and love God with a pure heart.

  And with fear of God we continued to build the ark of faith through prayer and the word of God. Then the Lord sent out of nowhere one man, Abraham Victor, and he met the risen Jesus personally. In 1995 when the Korean Embassy closed down and we had to leave Namibia, Victor accepted to succeed the ministry in Namibia. When Victor struggled alone to maintain the work of God without any Korean missionaries, he was fearful and lonely. But when he sought first God’s kingdom and his righteousness, God blessed him to become a senior economist in the President’s Office, and enabled him to live as a shepherd of his sheep. In 1998 God blessed Abraham Victor who kept his heart and ministry alone in Namibia to establish a house church with Betty from Uganda. Now they have a ten year old son, Philip. Their house church is  keeping the lamp of God burning in Namibia.  May God bless their family and make them a blessing to Namibia. We also pray that God may raise and send missionary families to co-work with them.