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Injae UBF, Korea
March 4, 2014

GOD WHO REWARDS THOSE WHO EARNESTLY SEEK HIM

“And without faith it is impossible to please God, because anyone who comes to him must believe that he exists and that he rewards those who earnestly seek him.” (Heb11:6)

1. The time when I was in deep sorrow without any hope

I was born in 1953 at Gwangchun, Choongnam province in Korea. My father loved me so much though I was not a son whom he wanted. In order to give better opportunity of education to his children my father moved our home to a rented house at Sindang dong, Seoul Korea. There I studied hard and became class president and president of the student union at Kyoungki middle school and at Kyoungki high school.

In my second high school year I became a representative of Red Cross youth, attended Expo70, was welcomed by the Japanese crown princess and traveled throughout mid-south Japan for a week.
After coming back to my school I couldn't apply myself to my school studies. In order to enter a medical school that I dreamed of since my middle school year, I transferred my major to natural science. But I could not adjust to the studies because of my lack of knowledge of math. Then I entered home economics of agricultural at SNU recommended by my high school principal. But I was not happy for that. Rather, I was in deep sorrow thinking that I was a loser because I failed to enter medical school. Then I spent my freshmen year with my colleagues attending many kinds of meetings seeking man's love. When I finished the first semester of my sophomore year my credit was near the point of a bachelor warning letter. Therefore, I decided to take time off. And I was full of complaining against the world because I failed. I felt all alone and became miserable without hope in the world. I wept without making any noise in my room, covering myself with the blanket.

2. God raised me by the power of his word

At that time God sent UBF sisters to me and invited me to Fall Genesis Bible school at Chongro UBF in 1973. Through Genesis Bible study I learned about God's creation of the world. Afterward, I studied the book of Romans every day with Sh. Paul Lee for a week.
Through Bible study I accepted that Jesus shed his precious blood for sinners like me who lived according to their useless desires and stubbornness. When I accepted his love, he set me free from the sense of failure of entering medical school, sorrow and emotion of love and all my burden of sin. God has given me new life in Jesus, experiencing his love, keeping the first love of Christ in my heart.
I joined Mother Barry's English Bible study group everyday and shouted “No one can help me. Only Jesus can help me!" Then I realized that it was my cry for help to the Lord as if I were the man who was demon- possessed who cried out to Jesus for help.
That night, Dr. Samuel Lee told me, "Stop chasing after man's love; be a mother of prayer like mother Barry.”

As a year passed after taking time off I had to return to the campus but I wanted to avoid it if I could. But by the word of God he encouraged me to return and serve the campus ministry. "No discipline seems pleasant at the time… therefore strengthen your feeble arms and week knees… (Heb12:11-13).
In the first semester of my senior year while we had daily bread meeting at the campus I saw Sh. Moses Chun who in the past never wrote a reflection. But after coming back from three months of military training, his attitude toward the word of God was tremendously changed and he showed me his Daily Bread reflection notes for three months. He also had read through the whole English Bible in three months.

From that time on in my heart I decided to pray for him all the days of my life. But God had known my secret prayer and led us to establish a blessed family of faith at Gwanak UBF on June 30, 1979. When I had my first baby in my womb I was convinced that the baby must be a son. But with disappointment I wept and Sh. Moses as well.

When I gave birth to my son Peter my mother-in-law sent me a gift money $100.00 for the expense of the hospital bill. But I offered it to baby Jesus as a Christmas gift instead. And then I also was preparing to deliver my baby at my home but the baby didn't come out on the expected date until 15 days passed. Then I asked Sh. Joy Kim for help and she brought me to the best hospital letting me give birth to a son by inducing labor in just two minutes without any cost. I thanked God for blessing me to deliver my baby at the best hospital in Korea.

In 1983 my family moved to Kimhae Kyoungnam province because Sh. Moses got a job at Forest Genetics Institute at Kimhae. When I saw my situation at Kimhae I felt that I was abandoned by God and wept in deep sorrow because there were no ministry coworkers and no sheep for me.
Meanwhile, God led me to have my third baby Moses at Kimhae. On Dec. 31, 1983, I gave birth to Moses on a very snowy day. That day, after attending a prayer meeting at Busan I could barely reach my home at Kimhae by12:00 AM because there were no transportation for me except I could barely take a taxi in that area. By the help of my landlord's wife I delivered my baby at 2am. But there was a grave danger: My baby was bound by the naval string and his placenta didn't come out of the womb. But God was taking care of my baby and me as well from this dangerous situation. By this I was convinced that God was for me. Sh. Moses named him Moses because he was born in Kimhae a spiritual desert-land.

3. A blessed life given by God
In order to serve God I had to go down to Busan UBF from Kimhae every week.
I left my home from Kimhae in the morning and came back home at midnight because there was no proper transportation between Kimhae and Busan. But one day God opened my eyes to see that there were Univ of Kimhae and Univ of Injae and he led me to pray for these campuses.

In 1987 we moved our home to a rented house in front of Univ of Injae giving up the home freely offered by Sh. Moses’ work. After moving I saw Sh. Moses was not able to serve campus students because he was bound by his work which included even weekends as well. Then I was so disappointed. But I decided to go to the campus every day to invite students. God heard my earnest prayer and led Sh. John Kim to be appointed at Univ of Injae as a full time lecturer.

On February of 1988 God sent Sh. John Kim as a professor shepherd and blessed the pioneering worship service with the first sheep Hongguen Kim and my family at the campus. God provided us a thatched house which was empty as our Bible house near the campus. And we diligently invited new students from Univ of Injae. I had been doing Bible study with one medical student faithfully for a year. And I was so happy when I was with the first sheep sitting under the persimmon trees in the backyard of the Bible house.
But on April 16, 1988, I heard bad news that Sh. Moses was hospitalized and was in a coma state due to a traffic accident during his work. It was by God' grace he regained his consciousness in three weeks. Afterward, he attended the meetings and was able to deliver Sunday message once a month.
One year later in September 1989 we were sent to Germany as student missionaries as I had dreamed. There were eight medical students who participated in our missionary-sending worship service. God also made the traffic incident as an opportunity for us to be missionaries.
In Germany all five of us lived in a small house. But our children soon adapted to their school lives and enjoyed athletics. But because M. Moses failed the German language test and had to leave the school where he registered, he was in deep despair.
But we heard good news that he would be accepted at Univ of Leipzig in Eastern Germany and moved out to the countryside soon. Sometime after that, he fell down a second time on the floor at the school and had to have surgery to stop a brain hemorrhage. From that time on, he was unable to speak and only by a hosepipe he was able to eat, to give urine and feces due to the general paralysis.
When the late Dr. Samuel Lee came to visit us he gave me one word: “My grace is sufficient for you…" and a new direction to “take care of your family well". After several months holding on to Genesis 22:14 “the God of Jehovah Jireh" with the peace of God in my heart M.Moses and I along with three children returned to Korea.
In Korea God already prepared everything we needed, especially for M. Moses through my father and mother-in-law. After five years staying in a hospital in Korea M. Moses moved to home which was well prepared for such a general paralysis patient, M. Moses by my father and mother in law.
I thank God for watching over him for 21 years thus far like the apple of His eye. Whenever I become tired spiritually I remember the word, “My grace is sufficient for you…" (2Cor 12:9)
During the five years he was hospitalized, I alone took care of him staying in the hospital. By the grace of God, I also could serve God attending fellowship meetings, sister-coworkers’ meetings and Sunday worship service without missing.
As for my mother-in-law she was not a Christian but she was moved by my life of faith. And then she brought her husband to Sunday worship service and both are now attending early morning prayer every day and became my prayer coworkers eating daily bread together.
Beginning from 2004, God has given me the privilege of serving lunch for sheep and coworkers after Sunday worship service. Through this I could learn Jesus’ servantship.
As for my children, I realized that each of them has a life problem through the sharing of their reflection. And my mother-in-law also was hurt because of her son's illness. But I was not a good mother for my children and not a good daughter to my mother-in-law because I was such a self-centered sinner who could not understand because of my selfishness.
But God has been taking care of me by his one-sided love through my mother and father-in-law and Sh.John Kim thus far. I owe many debts of love to them. Most of all, I really thank God for not abandoning me but rather bearing all my sin on the cross. Once I thought that I was a loser in life because I failed to enter medical school in my college year. But God recovered my life of failure through my children's achievements in medical school. I believe that in God there is no failure in accordance with Romans11:29, which says, "for the gifts and the calling of God are irrevocable."
My first daughter Sarah's husband Matthew Lee was appointed as a professor at Nazareth Medical School at Chunan. He has a vision to be a professor-shepherd and prays to be a missionary family to USA. He was awarded as a future scientist last year. My second son Peter is going to be appointed at SNU medical school since he passed the exam for pediatric specialist and finished his three-year duty as army surgeon. The youngest Moses has been serving his medical school colleagues with prayer and Bible study for the last four years and God has laid a foundation of pioneering Yansan campus. God blessed him to establish a family of God with Saerom Lee on Feb. 8, 2014 and he prays to be a shepherd family for Yansan campus.

I really thank God for manifesting Himself as the living God through the life of M. Moses and my family and of the God who rewards those who earnestly seek him. I also praise and thank God for saving a wretched sinner like me and for helping me to earnestly seek the Lord who rewards those who seek him and for allowing me to be a good influence of faith to my children, even to my father and mother-in-law. I believe that it is a way for me to please God that I continually go to visit Kimhae three days a week and give my heart and materials to serve God. I indeed express my appreciation to Sh. Paul Lee, Sh. John Kim and all the servants of God for their earnest prayer support for my family thus far.
I pray that God may enable me to hold on to the grace of Jesus and his calling, and let me follow the cross of Jesus to the end. I also pray that I may love and serve M. Moses to the end and that I may be alert so that I can always pray and serve my children and sheep.

I thank God for rewarding me with 100 times of blessings covering over all my sufferings as the saying goes, ‘Double Cross, Double Blessing.’ Injae UBF members are going to read through the Bible in February. Through this we want to know who God is and to receive one word of God in prayer. Injae center prayer topics are: (1) to revive the work of word through the living-stone team, which consists of three graduate students and one undergraduate student in Injae campus; (2) to revive the work of God’s word through Moses and Saerom Chun at Yangsan campus. Thank you for your prayer support.

One Word: God who rewards those who earnestly seek him