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Chicago UBF
May 14, 2014

FOR JESUS AND HIS GOSPEL

“Whoever wants to save his life will lose it but whoever loses his life for me and the gospel will save it.” (Mark 8:35)

1. To search for the meaning of life

God gave me the precious gift of life on Nov 29, 1946 through the couple of principal Moon, Sung Ju. They say that they were proud of me because I could walk at nine months. I was favored by the family members and the guests for my talents like singing many songs and reciting poems and addresses. But my brother was born when I was four years old and he got more attention because boys were more popular at that time.
During my elementary school days we attended the village church where we knelt down on a wooden floor. We sang together watching while a cow was grazing. “Jesus is our bright lamp, shining twinkle, twinkle, ‘you should be the light of the world’” The evangelist told us the story of ‘Pilgrim’s Progress’. At the end I decided to enter the celestial city through many hardships like the main character Christian.
I walked 4km to and from school during the middle school three years. I used that time to study vocabulary and prepare exams. And I began to think about the meaning of life. I liked to sing, “Oh, Danny Boy”, especially verse two “When I too die and be buried, call me ‘you are holy.’”

My father wanted me to go to a teacher’s college but I applied to Chun Nam Girls’ High School. For a year I lived in the dormitory, and while there one friend from Yeo Su city committed suicide out of nihilism. Life seemed to be emptier. Following a friend I attended Kwang Ju Central church. However, I want a pure relationship with God only so I avoided contact with people.

I was accepted at the pharmacy school of Chosun University. In the spring of my freshman year, my essay, entitled, “The Meaning of Life”, happened to appear in the school newspaper. It finished, “Let me know the meaning of life overshadowed by God’s big hand.”

2. For Jesus and his gospel

One day, a home town friend Moon Yang Whan told me, “There is a place called UBF.
They teach the Bible and English.” I had interest in both. He didn’t want to go. So I went there by myself. Over there I found there was a conference after four days and I registered. On the conference picture it is written 1964. 7. 4, so maybe it was around July 1st. The rest is history. Since then my pilgrimage in Christ began. This coming July 1st, it will be my 50th anniversary.

After my freshman year, my father wanted me to come back home because I was a girl and there are four younger boys after me. I understood his opinion well. But I wanted to finish school. At that time Shepherd Lee Chang Woo (later known as Dr. Samuel Lee) called me and listened to me. Then he said, “Your brothers are precious. And you are precious too. I will support you.” At his word my parents were challenged and they began to think deeply. After all, my mother suggested to my father, “Let’s plant in her eyes of wisdom instead of preparing many wedding gifts.” So I could continue to study in college.

God accepted his shepherd heart over one soul even though he didn’t pay a penny for me. Later God used the pharmacist license to let us go USA. I had a busy college life that consisted of early morning prayer, leading group pharmacy school Bible study, cooking for me & my brothers, copying text books and attending UBF meetings along with the pharmacy school study. I did my best to challenge my circumstances in order to accomplish something.

After pharmacy school graduation, I got a pharmacist license and a job and then my first paycheck. I should have been so happy, yet that night I wept, for I felt so empty.
Then in order to get better pay I moved to Dong-du-chun. One day I heard Dr. Samuel Lee’s incident of burning injury. I wrote the letter and received the response that he said
“To see the wound is like seeing a world map. It reminds me of world mission.”
I received baptism from the church there. I studied the Bible going back and forth Seoul. I received God’s words through Genesis 1:31, “It was very good”. I got a new yellow dress from the fashion salon, a new dictionary from the bookstore (I used the old bookstore before) and I went to a beauty salon for a new hairdo. I received grace from Jacob’s study. I studied Romans chapter 3 and realized that I was a proud self-righteous unthankful sinner. Once I almost died by coal gas. But the Lord awoke me up by telling me “Unlock! Open the door and go out!” I couldn’t get up and lying was so comfortable. He again told to go out. I learned that I was poisoned. So I got up with all my strength and went out. I pumped water outside and heard a ringing sound in my ear far away and bit my lips until they were bleeding. God saved me with his purpose.

When I moved to Seoul, I began Mark’s gospel study with the late Shepherd Ki-Ho Choi.
God’s word was alive to quench a thirsty soul. The same word I read was different. While I was writing the testimony, God revealed his truth through Mark 8:35. “For whoever wants to save his life will lose it, but whoever loses his life for me and for the gospel will save it.” I realized that I lived for myself, not for Jesus, the Lord of heaven and earth. ‘Ah, the reason I was so tired was to save my life through education, a job and future marriage. Jesus promised that whoever loses his life for him will save it.’ Suddenly God’s servants who looked pitiful were glorious like stars in the sky. I decided to make Jesus my Lord the first priority in life.

At Christmas (1971), we had a Bangladesh relief offering. We wanted to offer the most precious thing to Jesus. At first, I couldn’t find anything-no money or something. But I found embroidering art pieces I collected as a hobby and for my marriage. It was like Mary’s jar of perfume and the dream of marriage. When I decided to offer it to Jesus, I could see my sins like hidden dust that is finally revealed in the rays of sunlight. I thought that I lived a pure life without any boyfriend but I was a proud, unthankful and self-righteous sinner. According to Romans chapter 3, I was a sinner who needed Jesus’ blood for forgiveness of sins.

With a repentant and thankful heart toward God and toward God’s servants,
I wept in the bus from Chong Ro to my rented room in Bul Gwang Dong. God was gracious and long waiting. The more I thought about the unfathomable grace of Jesus, the more tears were flowing down. When I came home, I wrote a birthday card to Jesus. “Jesus, Lord of my life. Accept my life and everything and guide my life. You created all things and I believe you will provide a bridegroom. Happy birthday, Jesus!” I thank God even now that if Jesus never intervened in my life, then probably I would never marry due to my proud mind.

Also I cannot but mention Mother Barry’s quiet prayers and influence. She helped me in various ways such as Romans study, Genesis study, women’s group Bible study etc. Especially, she often encouraged me when I was lacking self-confidence, saying, “You can do it. You can speak English excellently. You can live a life of mission. You can feed American students with God’s word…”

3. World Mission

Marriage was unexpectedly easy. The purpose was clear for Jesus and the gospel and so I was not afraid of the future uncertain suffering. I decided to learn Jesus’ mind and humility through marriage. In God’s provision, I married M Isaac Choi (Yong Wun Choi) on Oct 24, 1972. Dr. Samuel Lee blessed us with Ephesians chapter 5. Isaac Jr., Becky & Danny were born. Actual marriage life needed self-denial and many tears. But later I learned that I may enhance his merits and pray for his weaknesses, instead of trying to fix him. That can be the secret of a happy family life. We entrusted the only mother to the Lord and God’s servants in UBF and went to the mission field, USA(Nov. 30, 1978). She was a strong minded deacon in her church. But when I studied one lesson in group and I shared my oral testimony with her. Gradually, she received the word of God. She became a UBF legendary grandmother, Bok Sil Choi. She came to Chicago and became a prayer mother and a babysitter for Dr. Ben Toh for nine years and one year for P. Kevin Albright. One day before she died, Dr. Samuel Lee told me, “Go to her and tell her the story of the Magi (Mt 2). Her life was great and a truth-seeking life, like that of the Magi’s sacrificial life.”

It was not easy to conquer language with three young children. However, I did what I could do. I welcomed everyone to my place, shared Daily Bread and took care of their health and their babies. We studied English in group including M Mark Yoon with M. Theresa Sohn every week.

In the summer in 1981, on the way back home from Niagara conference I had severe abdominal pain and had kidney stone surgery. My recovery was slow; rather it was worsened until the next spring without improvement. I couldn’t sleep without sleeping pills when I thought about three little children without mom, if I died. I dreamed of being buried in the Korean mountains. I bothered many UBF doctors, especially Dr. Joseph Chung through phone calls. One day when I called, he said, “Don’t worry if you die. Since man dies once anyway, die for Jesus.” I got mad at his word, but his word reminded me that the way of life is to lose my life for Jesus and his gospel.
With the decision to die for Jesus, I got up the next morning and went to UIC to go fishing by public transportation. Since I was ready to die, I had no worries. The first night I was exhausted, so I slept well without a sleeping pill. I walked lot and I could eat well. It continued one week, one month. Gradually, I was getting stronger and stronger.

As a result I met Doug Broadly, Joe Gagriadi, John Graves, John Dewar and began 1:1 Bible study. Among them John Dewar went to Trinity seminary and he serves God as an elder and presider of his church. Then I met and studied with a pre-med student named Maria Galluzzo. She was a God-given faithful student and studied 1:1 for 17 years and became Dr. Maria Albright, the wife of full time shepherd Kevin Albright. Also an accounting student from Ecuador, Marcia Santana studied 1:1 and became Marcia Lenthang, the wife of full time shepherd Pastor Moses Lenthang. Many students from UIC came and went. They are Lydia Lopez, Sue Wolgamoth, Roberta Divorski and Valerie Matorelli and so on. I drove back and forth to UIC almost every day for 14 years. Pastor Ron and Sh Jeremiah Cowen were with me.

And I served Harper campus taking classes like Engineering 101 along with P Ron. We met many students including Elizabeth Broyles. Then I served Loyola campus for more than 14 years. Loyola is a private Catholic school and had tight security. We, P Ron, M Joanne and I, took classes paying more than a thousand dollars per class and received student IDs. We could go to campus freely. Cindy Fullilove was in my biology class. We studied biology together, and then Bible together. One student complained to his parents because of M Andrew Park’s fishing activity to school authority. So he had a hearing that would decide whether he could stay or not in Loyola graduate school. No one could defend anything except Loyola students, even professors. At this, she didn’t go to her work and defended UBF ministry strongly. As a result, M Andrew Park could stay at school. Our ministry gained strength, and later we could register as one of student clubs. In Loyola, Keren Braddock, Biwi Tao, Stacy Hunt, Liz Marquez, Brad Hildebrand and Jennifer Neve studied 1:1 with me.

Then we served CBF ministry with co-workers like Tim & Sharon McEthron, Birgit Pierce, Tim Kim Williams, Sarah Yu and Monica Suh. Esp. Sh Tim and M Birgit take care CBF matters and Sarah Yu takes care of BBF matters as good stewards. M Isaac Choi has great interest and passion for “family discipleship.” He prays, learns and studies about it and shares with the UBF community.
For three decades God blessed me to co-work with P Ron. I learned one thing that is the heart of mother. Once Dr. Samuel Lee told me after one Sun worship, “Love Sh. Ron like your own son little Isaac for to love and serve this one person is better than to serve 100 sheep.” I accepted this word from my heart and he became a blameless person. Now he is like my father. Whenever I go to him to pray, I gain strength and comfort and I became as if the very important person.

I suffered from surgeries: kidney stone surgery, hysterectomy and mastectomy. While I was serving Loyola, I studied basic science like biology, chemistry, and organic chemistry and the labs along with young students. I had bleeding which led me to have a hysterectomy because I had anemia. Mother Barry, Dr. Charles Baek and P Ron donated blood since they had same blood type “O” positive with me sacrificially. I had hot flashes.
I thought that I had a cold and the nurse gave me cough syrup. It was too strong for me and my whole body was shaking. I felt that if I closed my eyes, I would die. I rolled alone until midnight. At that moment, I heard the Risen Jesus’ voice, “I am with you!” His word was soothing enough to calm me down. “Ah! The Lord is here with me. Why didn’t I know that?” As he had promised, he had been with me.

There were also other hardships. Danny was diagnosed with Crohen’s disease and suffered much. Then in 2009, his doctor Dr. Swanson did a routine colonoscopy. He did three times for the better record. Unfortunately, he made air out of two spots, and Danny was dying. But he was rescued through surgery. However, he was in SICU sedated for three weeks for doctors could not sew his belly back up. To see my sick son was more painful than if I myself had been sick. But by God’s grace and the prayers of many of the Lords’ servants, he was restored and is working now.

Afterwards, I had a stroke on Oct 15, 2010. This made my life different. My body didn’t work like before: my right side is a little paralyzed and my speech became dull. I became helpless and limited in many ways. One good thing is that I humbled myself especially toward M Isaac Choi who takes care of me bearing my weaknesses. Danny was able to forgive me since I became helpless. I didn’t know that I demanded much with a high expectation toward children. Physical therapy helped me and I was improved much. Praise God for his wisdom and unfathomable grace and love!

By God’s one sided grace, three children studied well though I couldn’t help much; Isaac finished Harvard, Princeton seminary and Ph.D. degree at Notre Dame, Becky finished Loyola with honor, and Danny finished Northwestern. But I struggled when they left our ministry. When I went to the Bolivia conference in 2000, the airplane was very shaky as we passed over the equator. At that time I was not afraid because I wanted to go with the Lord. However, God gave me his word through the Daily Bread from I Peter 4:19, “So those who suffer according to God’s will should commit themselves to their Creator and continue to do good.” M Isaac also helped me to live before God, not before people. I pray that my children and four grandchildren (Nathan, Jonatan, Elliot & Lydia) may live by faith and glorify God throughout their lives.

Also God used me for laying a basic foundation of Chicago pioneering work like the pre-R.N. women missionaries through repeated Genesis study, new women missionaries’ Bible study, CBF ministry, Grandparents Bible study, Hannah’s meeting, etc.
Praise Almighty God who called this unworthy sinner to his redemptive work and has used me preciously, co-working with great servants of God like Dr. Samuel & Grace Lee, Mother Barry, Dr. John Jun and Pastor Ron Ward, etc. Especially God enabled me to serve visiting ministry with M Grace Lee for the last 35 years. I could learn her love and shepherd heart.

I pray that God may use me for rebuilding the USA as a kingdom of priests and a holy nation and for world campus mission until I enter the celestial city, the kingdom of God.

One word: For Jesus and his gospel