Resource Detail

A WOMAN WHO FEARS THE LORDPRIVATE 

Proverbs 31:1-31

Key Verse 31:30

1. Read v. 1.  One of the meanings of the word "oracle" is prophecy. What does this meaning suggest about the significance of the message described in this chapter?

2. Read v. 2 and consider the ways the mother describes her son who later became a king.  What does “O son of my vows” indicate to us about the mother’s motive in sharing this oracle with her son?  (Lev 27:2; Num 6:2, 30:2; Judges 13:7)  

3. Read v. 3.  What does it mean to spend one’s strength on women?  Why should he not do so?

4. Read vs. 4-9.  This passage inhibits the king from becoming a party animal.  Why should he stay away from drinking wine or craving beer?  

5. Read v. 10.  What does the question “who can find” reveal about the practice of many brothers in looking for a wife?  The expression “noble character” seems more than sufficient in describing the desired value of a wife.  So why do you think the passage goes on to say, “She is worth far more than rubies”? 

6. Read vs. 11-29.  What kind of image do you think the woman in this passage portrays?  How are all the things she does surpassingly “noble”?

7. Read vs. 30-31.  Charm is deceptive, and beauty is fleeting. Yet why do many people (brothers in particular) go after these superficial qualities?  Why is it that a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised? 

A WOMAN WHO FEARS THE LORDPRIVATE 

Proverbs 31:1-31

Key Verse 31:30

Charm is deceptive, and beauty is fleeting; but a woman who fears the LORD is to be praised.

Today, by learning from a woman who fears the Lord, we would like to think about how we can make the Lord’s kingdom business prosper. In the passage we see words such as “mother,” “woman,” and “wife.” While this passage is good for telling us everything we need to know about an ideal mother, an ideal woman, and an ideal wife, it is also good for a Christian to know how to make the Lord’s business fruitful. 

This is said as it is because in many places of the Bible a believer is compared to a woman, and the Lord God a husband. We find this analogy both in the Old Testament Scriptures and the New Testament Scriptures. For example, Isaiah 54:1 reads, “Sing, O barren woman, you who never bore a child; burst into song, shout for joy, you who were never in labor; because more are the children of the desolate woman than of her who has a husband,” says the LORD.” Here, “a barren woman,” refers to Israel, the body of believers. The husband of course refers to the Lord God himself. Similarly, Isaiah 54:5 says, “For your Maker is your husband – the LORD Almighty is his name – the Holy One of Israel is your Redeemer; he is called the God of all the earth.” So, we are his wife, and the Lord is our husband. The prophet Jeremiah is more direct, for he says in Jeremiah 3:14, “Return, faithless people, declares the Lord, for I am your husband.” Then, in John’s gospel, John the Baptist says in John 3:29, “The bride belongs to the bridegroom. The friend who attends the bridegroom waits and listens for him, and is full of joy when he hears the bridegroom's voice. That joy is mine, and it is now complete.” By the bride John means new believers like Matthew the tax collector, and by the bridegroom John means Jesus Christ the Lord. Then, in 2 Corinthians 11:2, the apostle Paul is saying, “I am jealous for you with a godly jealousy. I promised you to one husband, to Christ, so that I might present you as a pure virgin to him.”

Viewed in this way it is not difficult to see that this passage has a lot of spiritual applications for all Christians to learn. So, it is my prayer that this passage would teach us how to make the Lord’s kingdom business prosper. With this in mind, let us think about this passage in two parts: 

Part I. A mother of King Lemuel (1-9)

A mother is different from a woman or a wife. A mother is above the level of a woman or a wife. A woman is just a woman. A wife is a married woman. She has a husband. A mother is a wife who has children. Figuratively speaking, a mother can be compared to a shepherd who has lots of spiritual children.

In the passage we have a mother teaching a son who later became a king called Lemuel. Look at verses 1-2. “The sayings of King Lemuel – an oracle his mother taught him: O my son, O son of my womb, O son of my vows,” In Hebrew thought, the husband has the divine duty to keep the Bible in his heart and teach it first to his wife. A lot of husbands neglect this duty. They go out and commit lots of sins, and yet they demand their wives to be faithful to their husbands. Not only that, they press their wives to teach their children to live godly lives. But this is not the way God created a family to function, for first it is the husband’s responsibility to keep the word of God in his heart, obey it, and teach it to his wife, then to his children. Then his wife in turn can pass the blessings to her children in an intimate way. 

“The sayings of King Lemuel – an oracle his mother taught him.” Apparently this mother is from a believing family. Obviously, she had a good husband who fulfilled his duty as the vanguard of God’s truth as the head of the household.  Most likely, she learned the Bible from her husband. Clearly in this verse, she then transferred to her son what she had learned. This son later became a king. And his name is Lemuel. In Hebrew the word “Lemuel” means “The one devoted to God.” Apparently, his mother taught him to devote himself to serving the Lord. So, she and her husband must have prayed a lot and named the son Lemuel. 

The son grew up and became a king. Thanks to his mother’s good influence the son then transferred to others what he had learned from his mother. Thus, we have the sayings of King Lemuel. What a graceful way to pass God’s blessings onto others!  

What then did the mother teach the son? Verses 3-9 describe what she taught. We can sum up the mother’s teachings in two categories: the first one is a negative injunction, the second positive. 

First, no pleasure-seeking life

Look at verses 3-7. “[D]o not spend your strength on women, your vigor on those who ruin kings. It is not for kings, O Lemuel – not for kings to drink wine, not for rulers to crave beer, lest they drink and forget what the law decrees, and deprive all the oppressed of their rights. Give beer to those who are perishing, wine to those who are in anguish; let them drink and forget their poverty and remember their misery no more.” This passage warns the son against a pleasure-seeking life, such as the life that indulges in sexual immorality or living as a party animal. 

The mother of King Lemuel is an ideal role model for a shepherd. How should a shepherd help his sheep? A shepherd must help his sheep just the way this mother helps the king. First of all, a shepherd must exhort his sheep to fully devote himself to the Lord. In so doing, a shepherd must warn his sheep of the pleasure seeking lifestyle, for it ruins man’s life. A shepherd also must teach his sheep to stay away from being a party animal. He must help his sheep to seek joy and satisfaction in the Lord, for the Lord is the source of real entertainment.

Second, a man who serves the needy

Next, let us read verses 8-9. “Speak up for those who cannot speak for themselves, for the rights of all who are destitute. Speak up and judge fairly; defend the rights of the poor and needy.” This passage describes the picture of a servant king, a king who serves people, especially those who are under-privileged and under-represented, like the mute, the destitute, the poor, and the needy. 

When Jesus came he set a good example as a serving king. He spoke up for those who could not speak for themselves. For example, in Jesus’ day, the religious leaders classified people such as Levi the tax collector. The religious leaders of Jesus’ day spoke down to Levi but Jesus spoke up for Levi. In Jesus’ day, women and children could not speak for themselves. But Jesus came and spoke up for them. He spoke up for the woman caught in the midst of committing adultery. He spoke up for parents bringing their children to Jesus. He spoke up for a man born blind. And Jesus spoke up for the rights of all who are destitute. He spoke up and judged fairly. He defended the rights of the poor and needy. He set up a perfect example as a servant king. 

This is what a shepherd needs to do in helping sheep. He must help each sheep to grow as a shepherd who serves others just as Jesus did. On our college campuses there are many who are spiritually mute, destitute, poor, and needy. We must help our sheep to grow as sacrificial shepherds knowing how to take care of the needy.

Part II. A wife of noble character (10-31)

Again, the Bible calls Christians the bride of Jesus Christ, the husband. We are then in a marriage relationship with Jesus Christ. To cleanse us of our sins Jesus died for our sins. He washed us of our sins with his word and Spirit. He saved us from an empty way of life to a meaningful life – the life that bears good fruit for the Lord.

In verses 10-31, then, we find a role model for a fruitful servant of Jesus Christ. Of course, this passage is useful for many different purposes. For example, it can work as a bachelor’s checklist to find a noble wife. It also can serve as a wife’s manual on how to garner honor and respect from her husband and children. And this passage can serve even as a powerful guide for a successful CEO.  

But for our own purposes, I think it can serve as a spiritual guide for fruitful shepherding. In the past, Dr. Samuel Lee used to say that a fruitful shepherd must be a good Bible scholar, a good administrator, and a good mother-like person. Where then can we find a good role model for a fruitful shepherd? Where can we find a role model for a mother-like shepherd? Here in verses 10-31, we can find it. 

In what respect then is the woman described in the passage a good mother-like shepherd? Well, the Bible passage speaks for itself. For our purposes however we can put together her beauty in two categories:

First, fear of the Lord

Every beautiful quality of a man and a woman stems from the Lord. It is the Lord who made Adam and Eve. Verses 10-29, describe a wife of noble character. She has many beautiful qualities. Her qualities are so beautiful that many women may even feel inferior. But, we must remember one thing: She got all these qualities from the Lord. She did not get them out of a beauty salon. 

Speaking of this, verse 30 reads, “Charm is deceptive, and beauty is fleeting; but a woman who fears the LORD is to be praised.” So, before we get into the good character traits of the woman, let us stop for a moment and think about the source of her beauty, that is, the fear of the Lord. 

What is it to have fear of the Lord? This fear is different from hurtful fear such as terror or phobias. It is different from servile fear as well. Rather it refers to revenant respect or awesome appreciation of God’s divine presence, awed by a sight of God's majesty, a vision of God’s awful greatness, His ineffable holiness, his perfect righteousness, his irresistible power, and his sovereign grace. In many different places of the Bible we find examples of God’s servants being struck by this kind of awesome fear of God. For example, once upon a time, feeling frustrated from the sinful environment of his generation, the prophet Isaiah rolled into the Lord’s temple with a deep sense of frustration. Then, while he was in the Lord’s sanctuary he had the vision of the Lord. There he saw the Lord seated on a throne, high and exalted, and the train of his robe filled the temple. Above him were seraphs, each with six wings: With two wings they covered their faces, with two they covered their feet, and with two they were flying. And they were calling to one another: “Holy, holy, holy is the LORD Almighty; the whole earth is full of his glory.”  At the sound of their voices the doorposts and thresholds shook and the temple was filled with smoke. This sight struck awe in Isaiah, so he said, “Woe to me! I am ruined! For I am a man of unclean lips, and I live among a people of unclean lips, and my eyes have seen the King, the LORD Almighty” (Isaiah 6:5). After that the prophet Isaiah lived the rest of his life with reverent fear of the Lord. 

Likewise, the woman described in this passage has the fear of the Lord. She knows that the Lord is sovereign – so sovereign that nothing happens in a visible and invisible world without the Lord first allowing it to happen or not to happen. 

The Bible teaches us that the Lord is sovereign whether one acknowledges it or not. The difference however between a man who acknowledges the Lord’s sovereignty and a man who does not is that the one who acknowledges and then in fact knows God’s sovereign rule learns how to bring the Lord’s goodness into man’s life, while the latter does not. 

Then, why is it that someone like the woman in the passage has the fear of the Lord, and exhibits such beautiful qualities of life, whereas women, like Queen Jezebel, described in 1 Kings Chapters 16-21, does not have fear of God and therefore behaves like a mad sow, an adult female swine? The difference is the spirituality. A spiritual woman has spiritual eyes to see what is spiritual. A man who is spiritually blind does not have the eyes to see what is spiritual. The Bible says that God is Spirit. The apostle Paul explained this concept by saying in 1 Corinthians 2:14, “The man without the Spirit does not accept the things that come from the Spirit of God, for they are foolishness to him, and he cannot understand them, because they are spiritually discerned.” 

How then can we have God’s Spirit? The apostle Peter answers this question in Acts 2:38, “Repent and be baptized, every one of you, in the name of Jesus Christ for the forgiveness of your sins. And you will receive the gift of the Holy Spirit.”  This little observation tells us that every one can have the hope to take possession of all the beautiful qualities the woman has in the passage. These character traits are not just for some special group of people with special genetic combinations. Rather it is for everyone who deeply repents and believes in the Lord. Then the Lord opens his spiritual eyes about all the beauties of the Lord. And out of the fellowship with the Lord, he or she can bear good fruit that lasts forever. 

Second, noble character

Fear of the Lord is the cause; nobility in character is the effect. When a man has the fear of the Lord the Lord grants him to bear good fruit. First, the Lord strengthens his inner person (see verses 22b and 25). Then, the Lord blesses him with all other fruits. Verses 10-29, begins by mentioning noble character and ends with the mention of doing surpassingly noble things. So all the good qualities described in this passage can be summed up with one point: nobility. 

Specifically what then do we mean by noble character? Again, the Bible passage speaks for itself. So let us read verses 10-29, responsively. For our own purposes, we can classify her beautiful qualities into seven categories: 

(1) Trustworthiness

Look at verse 11. “Her husband has full confidence in her and lacks nothing of value.” Here we find the expression “full confidence.” According to The Miriam-Webster Dictionary, one of the meanings of confidence is “a relation of trust and intimacy.” This indicates that the first quality, that is, the Lord putting full confidence, comes through a man being in a trust relationship with the Lord, a relationship with him which is not distant but intimate. Simply, we can call this quality “trustworthiness.” 

With this in mind let us put “the Lord” in place of “her husband,” and the word “you” in place of the word “her,” and read it. Then see how you can rate yourself on this point. Can the Lord have full confidence in you? In other words, “Are you really trustworthy?” We are called to take care of sheep, for Jesus said to his disciples “Feed my lambs.” When you think about, it taking care of sheep is a huge responsibility, for a soul is more valuable than the entire universe. Naturally, the first quality in looking for a qualified shepherd is reliability. For this reason the apostle Paul said to Timothy his top disciple to entrust what he learned to a reliable man. Likewise, the Proverbs which is known as the book of wisdom lists trustworthiness as the first and perhaps foremost important quality of a wife of noble character. 

(2) Beneficence

Look at verse 12. “She brings him good, not harm, all the days of her life. “ At first the apostle Paul brought Jesus a lot of harm. But after repentance, he brought Jesus good. Some people bring harm to the Lord, some good to the Lord. In serving the Lord’s ministry in UBF, I can tell precisely who brought how much good to the Lord and who brought how much harm to the Lord. Normally, and perhaps without exception, those who are mean and ignoble in character bring lots of harm to the Lord. By the same token a man with noble character brings good to the Lord all the time. So, if you think on what is lowly, such as how to gratify your own self-seeking desires, perhaps you will end up bringing the Lord harm, even against your will. Again, if you always think about I-my-me-mine, you will end up bringing the Lord harm, rather than good. The point is that you are not good or bad for no reason. If you set your mind on yourself and the things of this world, you naturally end up bringing harm to the Lord and his people.  

(3) Diligence

Included in this category can be verses 13, 15, 17, 19 and 27. “¹³ She selects wool and flax
and works with eager hands.” “¹⁵ She gets up while it is still dark; she provides food for her family and portions for her servant girls.” “¹⁷ She sets about her work vigorously;
her arms are strong for her tasks.” “¹⁹ In her hand she holds the distaff and grasps the spindle with her fingers.” “²⁷ She watches over the affairs of her household and does not eat the bread of idleness.” Nowadays, not many people use distaff or spindle to make a living. But we know what they correspond to. Specifically, the quality of due diligence and hard-working spirit reminds us of our missionaries in overseas countries who are all self-supporting. Last Tuesday, Shepherd Jay Irwin came back from attending the Bolivian UBF Summer Bible Conference. In his report he shared how Missionary Esteban Cho and Paulina Cho serve Bolivian college students as self-supporting missionaries through their garment business. 

(4) Shrewdness in managing financial matters

Included in this category are verses 14, 16, 18, and 24. “¹⁴ She is like the merchant ships, bringing her food from afar.” “¹⁶ She considers a field and buys it; out of her earnings she plants a vineyard.” “¹⁸ She sees that her trading is profitable, and her lamp does not go out at night.” “²⁴ She makes linen garments and sells them, and supplies the merchants with sashes.” This woman can easily match up with any successful CEO of this nation. How could this woman be so shrewd in managing her financial matters? Because she is so successful, I also feel inferior to her.

At first glance however it sounds as if we need special talents or skills or even special training like earning an MBA. But the Bible teaches us that at the heart of financial successes there is a deep sense of financial responsibility. One of the fine qualities the Lord God trained the Israelites to achieve is financial responsibility. I have a book entitled The Empire of Their Own. This book describes how one Jewish man named Adolph Zuckor built the empire of his own, that is, a movie making industry. In reading his story, I was surprised to discover that one of the secrets of his success was his sense of financial responsibility. On many occasions his business went through ups and downs. When his business went down, many advised him to file a chapter 7 bankruptcy. But he refused to do so. Despite tremendous pressures, he paid off every penny he borrowed from his creditors. Then, people picked up his credibility. People then loved to do business with him. As business opportunities opened up, he went for them, but still with the keen sense of financial responsibility. Then money started rolling in. 

(5) Charity

Look at verse 20. “She opens her arms to the poor and extends her hands to the needy.” The expression, “She opens her arms,” shows that she is a woman of heart. The Bible could have said, “She opens her wallet,” or, “She opens her refrigerator”. But it says, “She opens her arms.” In addition to those who are poor and needy materially there are so many who are poor and needy spiritually. In the first place, people become financially poor by first becoming spiritually poor. Most importantly in modern day America, people are hungry for love, not just for money. So many children from well-to-do family are crying out for love, not for money. The question is, “Are the arms of the people of this church open to the poor? How are we extending the hands of love to the needy?” 

(6) Love

Look at verses 21-22. “When it snows, she has no fear for her household; for all of them are clothed in scarlet. She makes coverings for her bed; she is clothed in fine linen and purple.” Let us also read verse 25. “She is clothed with strength and dignity; she can laugh at the days to come.” This passage says that she is a good homemaker. She makes her home sweet. What we need is not just a house but a home. It is said, “There is no place like home.” We pray for house churches. At the last staff meeting Mother Barry specifically asked us to pray for 5,000 house churches in 10 years. When this happens, through these house churches, the Lord can let many spiritual orphans of this nation find themselves at home with the Lord. 

(7) Good influence

Let us read verses 23, 26, and 29. “²³ Her husband is respected at the city gate, where he takes his seat among the elders of the land.” “²⁶ She speaks with wisdom, and faithful instruction is on her tongue.” “²⁸ Her children arise and call her blessed; her husband also, and he praises her.” This passage indicates that she is a woman of good influence. A husband and children are close to her. So they know the good points and bad points of the woman. This is particularly true with children. If you want to know the integrity of a parent first ask their children and see what they say. But this woman has no bad points. Her influence is so good that even her children say of her, “Mom! You are blessed!” 

Indeed, she is blessed. So, the Lord himself rewards her. Thus verses 29-30 read, “²⁹ Many women do noble things, but you surpass them all. ³⁰ Charm is deceptive, and beauty is fleeting; but a woman who fears the LORD is to be praised. ³¹ Give her the reward she has earned, and let her works bring her praise at the city gate.”

One word: A wife of noble character

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