Resource Detail

COME TOGETHER IN MY NAME

Matthew 18:15-35

Key Verse 18:20

For where two or three come together in my name, there am I with them.

Read verses 15-17. What are we to do if someone sins against us? Why do you think there are so many steps involved for someone who "refuses to listen"?

Read verses 18-20. What does Jesus teach about the importance of unity in prayer with other believers? Why do you think Jesus emphasizes coming together in his name rather than pursuing serving God on our own?

Read verses 21-22. What question did Peter have? Why do you think he might have asked this question? Why is it so difficult to forgive? (cf. Gen 4:24) What does Jesus mean by, “not seven times, but seventy-seven times”? Have you ever forgiven someone in the Lord even seven times?

Read verses 23-27. What did Jesus compare the kingdom of heaven to? Why did the king forgive the debt of his servant? How does this parable illustrate God’s mercy to all sinners? In what way is sin like a debt?

Read verses 28-35. What did the servant do when he found a fellow servant that owed him? What did the king do in response? Why? What does this parable teach about how we can forgive others as much Jesus tells us to? (Mat 6:12) What does it mean to forgive “from your heart” (35)? 

COME TOGETHER IN MY NAME

Matthew 18:15-35

Key Verse 18:20

For where two or three come together in my name, there am I with them.

Getting together with others is one of the most difficult things to do in this world.

There is a popular phrase: “The more I know people, the more I like my dog.” Yet, we naturally desire to come together with others. This is why Facebook and other social media are so popular. Facebook’s slogan is: Connect: “Facebook helps you connect and share with the people in your life.” Even when people rebel against God, they like to do it together with others, as seen in the incident with the building of the tower of Babel (cf. Gen 11:3-7). 

It is God’s desire that his children come together in his name and pray. When believers come together in Jesus’ name, he is pleased to be there with them and to work mightily through them. In today’s passage, Jesus teaches how we can overcome the problem of “other people” and pray together in unity. It is not through blaming others, but through learning of God’s mercy in and through Jesus Christ. Specifically, learning how to forgive and build up, just as God forgives us.

Win your brother over (15-17)

Look at verses 15-17. “¹⁵If your brother sins against you, go and show him his fault, just between the two of you. If he listens to you, you have won your brother over. ¹⁶But if he will not listen, take one or two others along, so that 'every matter may be established by the testimony of two or three witnesses.' ¹⁷If he refuses to listen to them, tell it to the church; and if he refuses to listen even to the church, treat him as you would a pagan or a tax collector.”

What do we do when others sin against us, especially our brother? We suddenly feel the need to bring about justice and discipline and punishment. We feel angry with God when something doesn’t happen quickly against the other person. We complain. We gossip. We retaliate. We harbor bitterness, and the list goes on. So many relationships in the church are broken and remain broken because of how we respond when others sin against us. 

Look at verse 15 again. “If your brother sins against you, go and show him his fault, just between the two of you. If he listens to you, you have won your brother over.” God knows that we have been hurt. And yet Jesus doesn’t talk about that here. Instead he tells us to be reconciled with our brother. More specifically, he tells us to “win our brother over.” This phrase tells us why Jesus does not want us to remain in our hurt and to seek to hurt others. He wants us to actively seek to restore that person to a right fellowship with Jesus Christ. We are to win our brother or sister over back to Jesus Christ. We should not use Jesus’ instructions to confront others or feel good about ourselves. 

How are we to do this? Jesus says to “go and show him his fault, just between the two of you.” We cannot use this verse to start fault-finding campaigns. We must not show our brother or sister their fault with great noise and a large crowd. It should be done privately and sincerely, and after much prayer, because the purpose is not to expose for our sake, but to win our brother over to Jesus, for his sake.

God wants his children to sincerely love and care for each other. When we see other brother or sister sin against us, with godly sorrow for that person and deep concern, we must recognize that they need to be won over and return to Jesus. And if our brother or sister listens to us and we have won them over, then we will be filled with joy and thanks to God for our brother or sister, and we forget and forgive any wrong done to us. In this way, our church fellowships will be built on the love, humility, and forgiveness of Jesus Christ, and not based on merits or human standards. 

But what if our brother or sister refuses to listen? Look again at verses 16-17. “¹⁶But if he will not listen, take one or two others along, so that 'every matter may be established by the testimony of two or three witnesses.' ¹⁷If he refuses to listen to them, tell it to the church; and if he refuses to listen even to the church, treat him as you would a pagan or a tax collector.” The next step is to not give up on that person, but take one or two others along to see this person. These “others” that we are to bring along, should be mature and proven as faithful in the church. If he or she still does not listen and is unrepentant, then we must bring them the matter to the church and making another attempt to win over our brother or sister. There are many steps we must take to win over our brother or sister. These many steps are in place to help win over our brother. We see that going to the church and inviting many people into the matter is the last resort in approaching someone. Our tendency is to get many people involved at first. But we must not do that in case we crush or discourage our brother and then become a stumbling block for his repentance. 

Hopefully, our brother or sister who is sinning will listen to the church finally, and repent. But if he still does not, then we are to treat him as a pagan or tax collector, meaning, like an unbeliever and not part of our fellowship until he repents. This final step can be very painful for both sides, and easily misunderstood by others. But even this final step is necessary in keeping with the purpose to win over our brother. In the early days of the church in Corinth, there was a man who was committing sexual immorality. He became a very bad influence to others, but nothing was being done about it. Finally, after many attempts, the Apostle Paul charged the church leaders to expel this immoral brother. It was painful even for Paul. But we find out in Paul’s second letter to the Corinthians that following Jesus’ way worked. That immoral brother repented and was brought back into the church fellowship. A new spirit of purity also arose from this case. 

Our church fellowship is fellowship of God’s children. We are Jesus’ body, carrying out his glorious work in this world. So God wants us, as his children, to love and build each other up, even if we have to deny our own feelings and win our brother or sister over from their sin.  

Come together in my name (18-20)

Look at verse 18. “I tell you the truth, whatever you bind on earth will be bound in heaven, and whatever you loose on earth will be loosed in heaven.” Jesus reminded his disciples that God honors the actions and prayers of the church fellowship. There is a great privilege and responsibility to participate in the church fellowship. The privilege and responsibility is to have fellowship with Jesus and to extend the fellowship with and work of Jesus to this sinful world. 

How can we bear this privilege and responsibility among the church fellowship? We pray together in unity. Look at verses 19-20. “19Again, I tell you that if two of you on earth agree about anything you ask for, it will be done for you by my Father in heaven. 20For where two or three come together in my name, there am I with them.”

When we come together in his name, in unity, he honors what we ask of him. God is our Father in heaven. He wants to honor all of our prayer requests. But if his children to do not forgive each other, build each other up, love each other, and come together in Jesus’ name, he is not going to honor what we ask of him, even though we bother him day and night. 

Verses 18-20 help us to put verses 15-17 in perspective and to motivates us to be reconciled with fellow believers so that Jesus may be with us and our prayers be answered. It is for God’s glory when believers have unity in love in Jesus. John 17:23: “I in them and you in me. May they be brought to complete unity to let the world know that you sent me and have loved them even as you have loved me.” So let us not give up on forgiving and loving each other. Let us not give up meeting together and praying in Jesus’ name. May God’s glory be revealed and his work powerfully accomplished through a humble and loving ministry. It is amazing that when just two or three come together in Jesus’ name, our Father in heaven is pleased to answer all of their prayer requests. It is easy to be overwhelmed by the difficulties in serving our Lord Jesus’ world mission command these days. As this passage shows, it is easy to be overwhelmed just by one brother sinning against us. But when just two or three come together in Jesus’ name and pray, God will honor their prayers. It means that there is no limit in doing the work of God today and in raising disciples of Jesus from the college campuses. There is no limit for God’s work in our children to be saved from this corrupt generation and grow as servants of God and fellow workers of the gospel. How many campuses is our ministry serving? 15 campuses (Pepperdine, CSUF, CSULB, CSUDH, CSULA, LBCC, FCC, Cypress CC, Cerritos CC, Citrus CC, Mt. Sac, SMC, UCLA, UCI, USC, APU and Cal Poly Pomona). For Jesus’ purpose, we must learn to be humble and love and forgive each other and in unity pray together. If even two or three of us do this, it is guaranteed that a great work of God will arise. 

Forgive from your heart (21-35)

Peter got the point of Jesus’ message. The only way for us to come together in his name and pray together is for us to deeply and sincerely forgive others. But he had a question. Look at verse 21. “Then Peter came to Jesus and asked, ‘Lord, how many times shall I forgive my brother when he sins against me? Up to seven times?’” 

His question looks kind of funny, especially since he had a prepared number of how many times to forgive his brother. But when we think about it, it is amazing that Peter was willing to forgive up to seven times! To forgive even one time seems too much to ask. To forgive a second time, impossible! To forgive a third time—well, there had better not be a third time! But to obey Jesus’ word, he had to push himself to the limits in forgiving others and it was more than he could comprehend, so he asked Jesus this question. What was Jesus’ answer? 

Look at verse 22. “Jesus answered, ‘I tell you, not seven times, but seventy-seven times.’” Jesus wasn’t impressed with Peter’s answer. Instead, he taught him that he must forgive his brother endlessly. What Jesus says is really difficult to accept and practice. How can we do this? Not only does it seem painful or unjust, but many times we are also scared to forgive others. We don’t want to feel like a door mat, or weak, or easily used by others. We also don’t want to get hurt again. Trust has been broken. 

So how can we do it? To illustrate this Jesus gave a parable of a merciful king and an unmerciful servant. Look at verses 23-27. “²³Therefore, the kingdom of heaven is like a king who wanted to settle accounts with his servants. ²⁴As he began the settlement, a man who owed him ten thousand talents was brought to him. ²⁵Since he was not able to pay, the master ordered that he and his wife and his children and all that he had be sold to repay the debt. ²⁶The servant fell on his knees before him. 'Be patient with me,' he begged, 'and I will pay back everything.'²⁷The servant's master took pity on him, canceled the debt and let him go.” This parable shows us why and how we can forgive our brothers even seventy-seven times--and even more than that, by illustrating the grace of God’s forgiveness to us. 

In this parable, the king represents God, and the servant with this debt represents us sinners. In the parable, the servant owed the king ten thousand talents. The footnote details this by saying, “That is, millions of dollars.” The effect of hearing “ten thousand talents” is equivalent to demanding a less than minimum wage earner to pay back a debt of billions of dollars. It is simply impossible to even fathom paying back. (This year, the US national debt passed $1 trillion. What is this nation going to do?) In the parable, the servant is not able to pay the debt, so the master orders that he and his wife and his children and all he has is sold to repay the debt, but even then it does not seem to be enough. Our sin is like a debt in the same way. It is a debt that overwhelms our very life. It cannot be paid back with good deeds or money. Romans 3:23 says, “for all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God.” What are we to do? 

The servant in this parable could only beg his master to be patient with him. But how did the master respond? Did he accept a deferment? No. The master took pity on him and canceled his debt! In the same way, God had mercy on us sinners and sent his only Son Jesus Christ to pay the price of sin through his death on the cross. God makes his mercy and grace available to all who believe in Jesus. In Jesus, we can experience the grace and mercy of God to forgive all of our sins. And by that mercy and grace, we can forgive others. 

It was because of Jesus, by God’s grace, that I could experience and practice forgiveness sincerely for the first time in my life. Growing up I was told that I was too judgmental and held grudges. I couldn't help but hold grudges b/c where could I get justice? I felt like a victim growing up and there seemed to be no one to help me. After my parents’ divorce, my mom became very vindictive and bitter because of my dad. It deeply affected me, my brother and my sister. Growing up I saw the ill effects of the divorce on my brother and sister, yet my dad didn’t change and take care of his children. I hated him the most and wanted to kill him. I blamed him for all of the hurt in my life and in my mom and brother and sister. What good was forgiveness? So I became mean-spirited and judgmental. When I began Bible study and attended the summer conference in 2000, I learned that I was a sinner too before God! My father was not the problem only. I was also part of the problem. And the main problem was sin! But I learned also that Jesus died on the cross to bring sin forgiveness for all who believe in him. From that moment I asked his forgiveness and believed in him as my Savior. Then a most amazing and unexpected thing happened. I had pity and sorrow in my heart for my dad. He was not yet forgiven by Jesus but still living in his sin. And for the first time in my life I cried for him and prayed for him. I could forgive him in my heart fully. It was truly God’s work in my life and amazing grace. I am so thankful to God for his mercy in Jesus. 

Let’s look at what happened to the servant after the king canceled his debt. Look at verses 28-34. “²⁸"But when that servant went out, he found one of his fellow servants who owed him a hundred denarii. He grabbed him and began to choke him. 'Pay back what you owe me!' he demanded. ²⁹His fellow servant fell to his knees and begged him, 'Be patient with me, and I will pay you back.' ³⁰But he refused. Instead, he went off and had the man thrown into prison until he could pay the debt.³¹When the other servants saw what had happened, they were greatly distressed and went and told their master everything that had happened. ³²Then the master called the servant in. 'You wicked servant,' he said, 'I canceled all that debt of yours because you begged me to. ³³Shouldn't you have had mercy on your fellow servant just as I had on you?' ³⁴In anger his master turned him over to the jailers to be tortured, until he should pay back all he owed.” 

Maybe the servant was relieved, humbled, and happy for a little bit. But he did not remember and hold on to the mercy his master showed him. What he did looks unbelievable. Does 10,000 talents equal 100 denarii? Not in the slightest! In the same way, our sin before God is far greater than the sin committed against us. Clearly, the servant did not deserve to have his debt canceled. In the same way, we did not deserve God’s forgiveness in Jesus. It was his mercy to us. We may feel it is unfair to forgive others. But we must remember God’s mercy to us. He forgave us. We must not forget that Jesus knows what it is to be wronged unjustly, to be abandoned by his friends, to be betrayed, to be mocked, and to suffer because of others sins. Although it was his mission to do so, that he would take away the sins of the world, he was deeply pained. Yet in the moment of real injustice, on the cross, he prayed, “Father, forgive them, for they do not know what they are doing” (Luke 23:34). No one who has received the grace of forgiveness in Jesus can be justified in not forgiving his brother or sister.

Why was the king so mad at his servant? It means that he expected his servant to show the same mercy he had received. Was the king being stupid in cancelling the debt? No, he was a merciful and generous king. But he demanded a fair accounting from his servant and so treated the unmerciful servant accordingly. 

Let’s read verse 35. “This is how my heavenly Father will treat each of you unless you forgive your brother from your heart.” So, the way we are to forgive others is the same as God’s forgiveness to us. Forgiveness must come from the heart. It is possible only by knowing God’s grace of forgiveness in Jesus Christ. God’s mercy is not a free ticket to us and yet a license to not forgiven others. By God’s mercy we can be free from the power of sin and grow as children of God, and build others up as well. Thanks be to God for his wonderful grace in Jesus! May God help us to forgive and build a unity of prayer in our ministry.

One word: Come together in Jesus’ name