“Leave your country, your people and your father’s household and go to the land I will show you. I will make you a great nation and I will bless you; I will make your name great, and you will be a blessing.”(Genesis 12:1,2)
My name is Missionary Esther Kim from Yonhee UBF, Korea. In 1997, by God’s grace, I entered into law school at the Ewah Woman’s University. However, I could not adjust well to law school because of a sense of inferiority and self-consciousness. When I was a freshman, I happened to meet Shepherdess Jeong-A Hong at the campus, and she invited me to the 1:1 Bible study. However, when I began to study the Bible, I could not understand God's words well because of my own spiritual blindness. The only pleasure of my life was just to enjoy drinking and hanging out with my friends. However, during my sophomore year, I very much regretted having done such things during my first year of college. So, I decided to stop living that meaningless life and to prepare for a state law exam to become a lawyer. However, later that summer in 1998, when I was sophomore, suddenly my mother was diagnosed with acute liver cancer at the terminal stage. In a month, my mother fell into a coma and passed away. This event made me feel very miserable, and I could not even shed tears. When I saw my father who shed tears secretly every night, I said to myself that I must be strong. I repeated it again and again in my heart. But it was difficult for me to fill my mother’s role as well as study in school at the same time. I just wandered here and there at school and shed tears secretly. I thought that life itself was meaningless and hopeless for me.
After my mother’s death, I was totally exhausted spiritually and physically. At that time, I thought only my 1:1 shepherdess could understand my deep sorrow and despair. I went to the center to study the Bible by myself since I wanted to get clear answers about the meaning of life and death from the Bible. In 1999, God had mercy on me and gave me Jeremiah 33:3 at the New Year Conference. “Call to me and I will answer you and tell you great and unsearchable things you do not know.” Through this verse, God helped me to accept God’s right sovereignty and will for my life. After the conference, my heart was full of happiness and joy under the bright sunlight of the following early morning. Since then, I began to study the Bible very sincerely. God helped me to have strong desire in my heart to know about Jesus through 1:1 Bible study.
In 2000, at the Summer Bible Conference, I accepted John 19:30 “When he had received the drink, Jesus said, it is finished, with that he bowed his head and gave up his spirit.” I experienced the work of the Holy Spirit in my heart after accepting Jesus’ death on the cross because of my sins. I repented of my sins with tears and made a decision of faith to follow Jesus as his disciple. My heart was full of God’s grace and thanksgiving, and all sorrow and despair disappeared. In 2001, God gave me Jeremiah 1:5 when I graduated from college, “Before I formed you in the womb I knew you, before you were born I set you apart; I appointed you as a prophet to the nations.” Through this verse, I decided to live as a missionary and I proceeded to graduate school with missionary vision. God blessed me to write an excellent thesis paper.
After graduation, God gave me Genesis 15:1 “Do not be afraid, Abram. I am your shield, your very great reward.” And I decided to be a full time intern-shepherdess at Yonhee center. While I was trained as an intern-shepherdess for 4 years, God helped me to learn to believe God’s love under any condition and any circumstance. And also God renewed my heart about God’s calling as a campus shepherd. God blessed me to serve many campus students to be Jesus disciples at Yonsei, Ewah, and Hang-gong campuses. I praise and thank God who used me preciously as the source of blessing for campus ministry.
Last year, on Dec. 26th, God blessed me to establish a house church with the faithful, humble-minded Missionary Peter B. Kim based on Genesis 12:1,2. After marriage, I began to serve KNU campus in Daegu, but it was not easy for me to serve sheep in a new environment, even though I often visited KNU campus. During my last several months, I was a powerless shepherdess without any sheep at Daegu center. However, during that time, God helped me to see myself before God very personally, and make a right relationship with God.
First, I learned faith to trust in God only. I used to have unbelief because of practical problems such as future life direction or mission field. But God help me remember my wedding key verse, Genesis 12:1,2 “you will be a blessing”, and gave me his grace to live as a missionary only by faith.
Secondly, I set a spiritual direction to give my whole life as a shepherdess and missionary with Jesus’ heart. When I was staying in Daegu, I served one Chinese student of KNU. But I thought it was impossible for her to change spiritually through 1:1 Bible study. However, by faith, when I invited her to the 2008 Summer Bible Conference with a broken shepherd’s heart, God showed his marvelous power of the Holy Spirit through her, and blessed her to confess Jesus as her savior. Through this event, I saw faithful God who wanted our house church to be used as the source of blessing for world campus mission.
I believe God will surely accomplish his will as he wants through our house church. May God bless me and M. Peter B. Kim to accept God’s calling and to devote ourselves to world campus mission. Amen!
